We’re a bunch of Pandemic Pattys just trying to figure shit out and get by. I’m hurting my neck for dumb auditions, The Fit4Less Saga over already, COVID numbers rising in Canada, called my insurance company about 3 cent check, I’m calling the death of the corporate gym and the rise of home gyms and janky independents, Trump Impressions: James Austin Johnson vs Baldwin and much more. I’m amped up on a coffee with Kahlua for this one, let’s go!!
COVID this and COVID that, we ain’t done, folks! Wear a mask, white people need to CHILL and mask up, you CostCo maniacs! I’m passing out, I’m masking up, cancel the gym, Darbee.com for fitness challenge inspiration, mind is mud-keep it liquid! OJ ain’t wearing no mask in Vegas, he still feels invincible, I guess, Johnny Depp and the bed poo, there’s just a lot to compute right now! Let’s go!
Had episode 51 recorded back in May, but some major transitions have taken place in my life so I re-recorded! So much going on right now, protests, pandemics, losing weight, Patch in trouble, eff gyms, I’m sick of them. Let’s go!
I know I’m a real rambling man on this pod, and it’s turned into something kind of weird and nuts, but please, let’s continue to support the Black community and make some real changes to the systemic racism that’s plagued our society since its conception. Black Lives Matter.
Please donate blacklivesmatter.ca
I’ve come out of hibernation for the first time in three months after a real, real tough winter. Now we’re in the midst of the greatest health crisis in a century with COVID-19 aka the Corona Virus. We’re all on lockdown, we’re isolating and working from home. The world is crazy right now but we gotta find ways to cope and get through it! Depression diet, pizza imports, Tiger King and washing hands, let’s go!
It’s Christmas Eve so I decided to do a short one before we all glug gravy and raise our blood pressure. I talk the anti-inflammatory diet, air pollution and exercise, Apple genetic testing, humidifiers and the flu, holiday blues and the holiday booze! Advent calendars end today, get your last dose of nasty saturation and let’s go. Merry Christmas and happy holidays!
I’m gonna be Canada’s first vape inspector. Hi, hello! Milk drinkers took a hit today with ol Sheer stepping down. Anxiety is back, Jack, stay hydrated! Voice monsters, advent calendars make you saturated and gross, Popeye’s Chicken sandwich vortex, Blue Zone Diets, Vegan influencers going meat crazy, Volcanic peekaboo, and I’m sniffing your vapes! Don’t tell me that’s Benson and Hedges menthol, I know it’s mint ice cream vape juice ok, let’s go!
Nothing stranger than a Caucasian man going to see Joker by himself, but what are you gonna do?? What do we have? We’ve got racist NHL coaches, we’ve got fancy meal services like Hello Fresh, we’re wondering what happened to Fuel Foods, we’ve got AIDS from the dentist, poo tossers, taint tanners, RIP romaine lettuce and beware your dog’s deadly lick. I’m working out like crazy and I’m so exhausted, let’s go!!!!
Holy crap, the flu almost took me down, but I’m back! Massey Hall recording is getting closer! Went to Vegas, should I try the Penn Jillette potato diet? Bikram yoga? No one with a skullet like that should be that confident, first of many red flags! Wanna go blue, drink silver water! Oregano oil still on trial for me, Apple Watch for the win and Canadians flunk physical activity report card, plus more mania! Speed up this ep like you want to on Netflix, you psychos, let’s go!!
It’s been a crazy couple of months. Getting evicted and married at the same time, forced me into a pit of alcoholic joy and depression. But we have moved and life has gotten so much better! I’m back at a gym, time to get serious about these goals again! Going blind eating pringles, rug burn can’t take your legs, Beyond Meat and Big Chicken/Big Beef, pizza is a monster, tonsil cankers and more. Tip your Pringles can to the heavens, let’s glug some chips!
I’m working out and feeling jacked! On pace to have the body of a popsicle for the wedding. Shark fin soup alteration, GreenPeace told me to change! New owners, Bubka rants, commerical rants, smart-phone horns, vampires, Space piss (no thanks!), contact lenses are shower nightmares, and solving the weight-loss plateau!Borrow your dog’s bone and give it a teethy shake, episode 44 is here!
Holy crap, what happened??? I was supposed to record during my trip to South Carolina, then I did record when I got back, but it got stagnant and shelved! So here I am, trying again. I’m getting them shark fin orders in, I’ve got the parade-float bloats. I don’t want the drip, I want the sizzle! America’s annual health rankings at a glance. Biohacking diet: the misfits of Silicon Valley. Getting evicted, oh boy, that’ll make you stress eat. Wedding coming up, ditch the cheese cake, time to shape up. Let’s carry on!
Burp Burp!! Who’s feeling chunky??? Soak up the queen while she’s still here, it you ain’t slim: don’t shop at Zara, drying out from the booze, Ontario floods, Jackson 5 and antibiotic-resistant infections, Chernobyl mini-series, sunsceen mystery chemicals, Commercial RantZ, Sharkwater II, (we need sharks, knock it off, seriously) and Funny Fad Diets!
Recording in AMURICA next week, wish me luck, gonna jam the South in my arteries. Half-Apologies for the bad Southern Accent!
CBS officially on the move, getting evicted, bye-bye Toronto! Weight gain is back, I get real about body dysmorphia, Nuclear fallout hiding in the glaciers, radiation gonna give you the squirts in space, Trivago Guy is hammered again, Alexis Amazon records everything, Facebook is turning into a grave yard, subscriptions will suffocate us! Grab a barrel of nuclear waste and bury it, it’s time for another ep!
Five year “anniversary” of Podcast Fatboy, let’s get wrecked at a tailgate party! CBS has been sold, what now? Wake up, Jesus! It’s Easter! Let’s hide some chocolate! Cheers to the corporation that tainted the whole world’s blood with Teflon chemicals! Fitness challenge update, hockey’s almost done (what am I gonna do for summer exercise?) Curling’s for uppity hillbillies, send it back to Scotland! Nova Scotia loves organs, calling it a career? Let’s cry bees, everybody, it’s the five-year recap!
Tabloid goals, ET stinks, ‘80s mold, vitamins make you dandy, luscious sun, shoutout to the band Neon Vomit, CBS still for sale, Jeffrey Wreck, food and lighters and boomboxes, McDonalds ad review, Peleton is trying to eradicate live gyms vs janky-ass exercise bikes, change for laundry keeps us social, new fitness challenge, feel the blast with a Tushy Bidet, vegans and meaties beware: everything causes cancer, so live it up, here we go!
Holy cannoli, two eps in the same month? Am I back, baby?? Huge health news with the revamped Canadian Food Guide has lobbyists shitting piles? Social network is good for gofundmes and horrible for everything else! Go to concerts ’cause it’s good for you, Trumpy rewards heroics with big macs, charge your vapes, it’s episode 38!
2019, we are approaching the five-year mark of the pod (minus many hiatuses). Is this year the year? Resolutions? Getting sick! Hot Toddys are bull, neti pot for life, last year of the beard, oregano oil shakes, AirPods, Hal and Joanne, can barely breathe but let’s hit our goals this year.
Holy cow, once again, I rise from the smoldering amber of this podcast and finally give a new episode with new hopes, new dreams, new experiences. Recorded this one live from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada! I’m hiking up mountains, I’m so sore from it, it looks like I have polio when I walk, 5:2 Diet misfire, marijuana is legal, playing hockey, scarfing down Beyond Burgs, flaccid summers and jacked winters, welcome to America. Keep that FitBit on for this one, let’s go!
Hot new episode and I got a guest on this one. Billy Housh returns to talk nonsense and fitness and life, sumo wrestler food, stomach staples, Super Dave, E. Honda, adrenal fatigue, dope fiends, Drake, STIs and so much more. Put some raw onions on the tip of your tongue and get ready to trip with us!
Episode 34, we’re living in a world of fake weed, Don Gorske (John Lennon?) just ate his 30,000th Big Mac, I’m exercising at home, alcohol vs marijuana, abdominal pacemakers and balloon capsules to lose weight, exercise myths, plus more! Go to the dentist and check your gums for ticks!
Ep 33 hitting ten days after 32, woo-hoo! First day of spring, Boob’s being an idiot again, depressing laundromats, Rajneeshes cardio sex, 5:2 Diet, Prison Loaf diet, shitting weapons and crab mallet riots, dumb Subway diet (JARODDDDD) nicotine tongue patch and fight-the-resistance bands! Eat at least 300 calories before this one!
Ep 32, I’m nursing a hockey slash and a hangover, I’m buying ab rollers and joint rollers, justice is served for some – half order of fries and a water for others, flu shots schmoo shots, big mac sliders and grandma’s perfume take the yum away, okay??
Happy New Year! Ep 31, first of 2018. We get busy with talks about a new FitBit watch, Tide Pods challenges, chugging raw water, Douchie Doc vs Netflix Doc, Alexa on fire, losing weight, cardio feeling better, Trump health assessment too! Grab a pack of Gushers and squeeze them in your hand, press play, let’s go!
Had to retape episode 30 because I just couldn’t get through it a week ago! I’m eatin’ rhino-liver-sized chicken parm, Flynn’s turnin’ on Trump, one-lung hockey sprints, dipping my toes in tar sands, squat team, shrinks using cigarettes to compare the effects of loneliness, Alberta cowboy breakfast, buying treadmills and Jolly Green Death!
Weight is finally dropping and it only took 3.5 years to get it going! Now that’s motivation. Results are in on Doomies “Big D” vegan big mac, ask your stool if you can ever lose weight, cross-fit can kill in more ways than being crushed by a tractor tire, barely a few shower tips for battling eczema and put on a flea collar, the plague is back!
Getting my cardio back! Starting to feel some real changes in my mind and my body. UberEats Alfonso cheated, Eczema woes, boozy calories, coffee and calcium, Dotard the Orange Creamsicle. Hot and humid, let’s do this!
Weights coming up, playing hockey, cycling, North Korea and It freak me out, standing desks bad for the ticker, vegan cuisine still getting the gut kicks. Countdown to fall, let’s huff some fresh air!
Went to Halifax to get the 411 on seafood, swim with whales, eat donairs. Chomping on scallops and looking to dig out of sedentary hole of despair! Grab a shovel!
New ep, new worries, all good. I’ll teach you how to make a broken-down grilled cheese, I’ll tofu your deli meats, here come the ticks, tip your Uber driver, jade stones and Goop, here we go! Recording from Halifax next week, pizza corner baby! Happy 26th birthday, Chester (dead dog)
Hot rain, it’s July and I’m still trucking! I’m slurping Vega Proteins, I’m frolfing and kayaking and just sitting in bed having fun staring. Fitbit or FitShit? Time will tell. Raw vegans can stuff it! Get your steps in, here we go!
I am back from Maui, missing poi and Supermench beaches! Got some new goals, back at the gym, fighting spiders. Head to Doomies to try their off-menu vegan Big Mac, with special guest vegan correspondent Dan Scarfone!
Aloha, my PodFats!! I am on the beautiful island of Maui, Hawaii and we’re having the most amazing adventures! Part two I’ll do on my final day. So far IZ been great, eating poi, poke dot door, Hana hellway, fast-foods and food trucks! Mahalo!!
Maui preparation prolonged episode 21, but we’re back! Going on vacation soon, is the sitting on the beach gonna give me diabetes? Castaway recording studio, lungworm concerns, Roseanne’s coming back, Bobby from Dallas isn’t dead and it makes sense why Prince looked so fit. Next two episodes recording in Maui so get ready for some tiger-shark laughs!
Watch out! Darkman’s got text neck, couch-potato kids got weak bones, April’s pretty taxing and so are allergies, selling cars, junk food worse than SARS and cleaning the garage is cross fit! Let’s wrap up April and get ready for May (-onnaise)!
Episode 19! I got some new bike lights for some midnight rides, weed legalized soon, love handles are the new silent but deadly, milk is still out, vitamins and minerals are still in, take a double dose of turmeric, time to chew some more fat!
Another Friday night special! Cowboys and Pringles, ALS, pain meds problems, my house is haunted and fans get the advice they so desperately need!
Comb your hockey mustache, it’s episode 17! Another Friday night special, selling cars, making coffee, paint fume woes, antioxidants are berry controversial and I hate naps!
Episode 16! A tad late because Matt is trying to make room for all the Big Mac sauce he’s gonna buy. Matt’s got a new doctor, he’s recovering from a binge-y St. Paddy’s Day weekend. Flesh-eat your hearts out, here we go!
It’s the week of St. Paddy’s so Matt is jacked and ready for the parade. He has sprung out of his depression, right back into the Charlie Bucket Studio to talk about Soylent, all day breakfast, is cheese a heart killer?
Laundry is exercise! Grab a tube of Pringles and let’s get salty.
Matt’s trying work his way out of a pit of depression, or is it the mumps??? Therapy awaits! Overpriced coffee makers, binge eating. Eat bad? Blow it out! Is caffeine soon to be deemed a performance enhancing drug? Buy a house while listening to this one!
Post-nasal drip, drinking water by the sip! Talk Richard Simmons, new running routines (being chased by animals), Paleo diets, get your feet off my seat, episode 12 is here! Please rate on iTunes!
Big strides this week for Matt! Some big improvements on weight, the art of the Big Mac, craft beer is on notice, celebrity trainers ain’t helping nobody and a big Maui trip coming up. Take two potassium iodide pills and have a listen to this meltdown!
In need of some twilight sedation, sore as f*** from physical exertion, Matt UberEats his way into a coma, thanks Russian Robots, thinks about getting a tube (Aspire Assist) inserted into his stomach to blow out food and rants about the clown president and road tolls.
After years of silence, Podcast Fatboy returns with the long-awaited reboot! Matt recaps the last few years and outlines the future, rants about cooking, food, exercise, dildo-shaped appliances and even (kind of) gives his take on the Bell Let’s Talk campaign.
Talking Sodium, with my dad Eric Duncan! Too much, too little. We’re figuring it out!
Talking physicals and being allergic to exercise with comedian Steph Tolev!
Comedian/filmmaker Billy Housh! We talk crazy diets and gross carney food.
With comedian Adam Cawley. Talking stinky protein powder! What’s with the obsession?
We cover all things vegan in this ep! With Andrew Gardner.
Matt journeys to Winnipeg, Manitoba to catch up with actor/comedian/musician Adam Kennedy and learn about his struggles with growing up skinny. They also tackle ways to fight colds naturally, the use of sports to forget you’re exercising, and a slew of other ridiculousness. This episode was not brought to you by Poulin Exterminations (but we wish it was).
In episode 01, Matt’s fitness journey is unveiled and he checks in with PhD. candidate/personal trainer Alex Schwartz to help set him on the right track. This episode was brought to you by Alex’s love of Pork Rinds.